My father loved to run, and when running was too hard, he loved to walk. Neighbors knew him from his dedication to running his favorite path from our family’s house. I lost my father in this world August 21, 2018. A little over a year before he had been diagnosed with the beginning stages of dementia and cancer. When he went into the hospital for surgery, he proudly told the nurses he had never been in a hospital before. ‘I was even born at home!’ he jokingly told the nurses. My father was athletic his whole life and even after surgery he was out walking his favorite stretch with determined energy in his orange hoodie. I accompanied him on some of what would be his last walks, cherishing them even more than ever, trying to keep up with his stride, as I had when I was a child. My love of moving came from him in the form of dance. As a child and into adulthood I used to sign notes and cards to him ‘Love, Your Dancer’. He was always proud of me and I was proud of him.

With his initial diagnosis, I begged Al-Wahhab (The Supreme Bestower) to somehow reverse his illnesses. When it was evident that the feared was inevitable, I changed my dua. I asked Ar-Rahmaan (He who wills goodness and mercy for all His creatures) and Al-La’teef ( The Subtle One, The Gracious, The One who is kind to His servants and endows upon them) to protect his dignity in these hard times ahead. My father had watched his mother struggle with Alzheimer’s and it both broke his heart and made him fearful in his diagnosis. Outside of surgery, my father chose not to undergo cancer treatment. He would rather die from cancer, than live with dementia, a hard choice, but one our family respected. Our job was to protect his dignity and do everything in our power to care for him at home. On that August night in 2018, I held my father’s hand with my family surrounding him in a protective circle. Through many months of hardship, my duas were answered, our family were his primary caregivers in the home. He never spent another night in a hospital, he took his last breath surrounded by the eternal love of his family, in the comfort of his beloved home. I can never repay my father for all he did for me, but every time I step outside to take a walk I follow his footsteps and carry my head high. His love is with me in every step and with each dance, his spirit fills my heart in the simple pleasure of moving. He is forever home. إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ