April Arman
April Arman, the former Executive Director of RAHAMA is a one of the original co-founders and is a licensed social worker with nine years of experience in the area of domestic violence. Ms. Arman was Vice Principal and co-founder of Universal school, and Islamic School from 2001 to 2009. As a school administrator the need for specialized services and support for survivors of domestic violence became evident. From 2010 to 2019, Ms. Arman worked for Catholic Charities as part of a Culturally and Linguistically Appropriate VAWA (Violence Against Women Grant) advocate and as a facilitator for a court mandated group for survivors of domestic violence. Ms. Arman has experience working with the Muslim, Burmese and the immigrant and refugee community providing direct service and educational outreach to these target populations. Ms. Arman provided trauma-informed culturally sensitive individual counseling using trained interpreters and facilitated the first Burmese Women’s Support group in the Western New York area. Ms. Arman has been instrumental in the development of a transitional housing program for survivors that will provide a safe space that caters to the need of this vulnerable population.
Longing to Draw Nearer
The life of a traveler that is drawing nearer to its last breath.
A time for giving away, not amassing; how I loved those garage sales!
The final destination will be returning to my Rabb.
Passing a graveyard:
Ya Allah! Shower your peace and blessings on the inhabitants in their graves
and please shower your peace and blessings on those of us who have yet to join them,
but most certainly will.
Our graves, will they be a place of
Constriction or expansion?
Each piece of a puzzle that is a pivotal experience or opportunity.
Building upon each other as if in sequence, a divine plan
His loving facilitation
Guides at each step – the many sisters – who fulfilled a purpose,
some remain and some have moved on
Constriction and expansion.
Earlier in my travels, trying to fit in
Oreo, half breed, words meant to hurt
Not white enough
But not black enough
Able to pass – front seat to whispered discriminations
Cringe
The question always comes:
Where are you from?
Where do I fit?
Constriction and expansion.
College
Terrified
Searching for meaning
Questions unanswered that “should be taken as a matter of faith”
No such thing as coincidence
Constriction and expansion.
He was a different faith, different culture, from halfway around the world.
Tears, this is too beautiful to last.
What is the difference between culture and religion?
Both are intertwined, oftentimes culture superseding and staining our beautiful faith
The corset of patriarchy for women was never a part of the faith
Constriction and expansion.
Finally, the declaration of faith
Ashadu La illaha illallah, wa Ashadu anna Muhammadur Rasullallah
Not because of marriage but due to conviction
Constriction and expansion.
Raising children as a new Muslim
Co-cofounder of an Islamic School
Our family
A place of learning, belonging, shelter and development
Transition to high school
As you watch, the struggle to fit in continues in the next generation
My daughter, Freshman year
First day – do you have a bomb under your scarf?
My son, in his senior year
A Friend: “I can’t be friends with a terrorist”
Pain, tears, depression, acting out….
Constriction and expansion.
My calling
RAHAMA
The womb or the Rahm, the source of mercy,
Women’s attachment to the Divine, Ar Raheem
My calling
Working with survivors of domestic violence
Shelter, direct service, advocacy, education, group
Beautiful attachments, amazing strength
Ya Raheem, Ya Fattah, Ya Razak, Ya Hafiz,
The Merciful, The Opener, The Sustainer and Provider, The Protector
Miracles upon miracles
Light upon light
Establishing an Islamic Institution
Constriction and expansion.
New leadership
Power and control supersedes collaboration
If I change how I react - will it get better?
Mental gymnastics that lead to emotional exhaustion
Resignation
TEARS
Betrayal, feeling like a social pariah, grief
Constriction and expansion
Ya Qahar – the One who has control over all things
The Qadr or decree of Allah
Catch my breath, reflection, know He is always watching
He is closer to me than my jugular vein
Constriction and expansion.
The struggle to sit still is real
Focus on my heart
Breathe
Shift of focus from the external to the internal reality
Strive to empty my heart of everything but Him
Beneficial knowledge, repentance, spiritual striving:
A gain in this world is in reality a loss
Constriction and expansion.
Why do we seek the approval of the finite when they cannot benefit us?
A lifetime of seeking approval – wasted time
The freedom of needing only the approval of the Divine
Lessons learned – that lessons need to be unlearned
Constriction and expansion.
Oh, my Lord, who does not sleep
Help me to empty my heart of everything but You.
Talk less, sleep less, eat less
It is in being deprived that we are given
Opportunity for a special nearness
Constriction and expansion.
The best prayers
We get to know Allah through experiencing both His beautiful and majestic attributes
His Jamal and Jalal
The Punisher and the Most Merciful
We will know we have made some progress when our response to His Jalal and His Jamal is the same.
Loss is a gift, just as receiving is a gift.
Do not think your prayer is not answered: your prayer is the answer and the gift.
Without constriction, there is no expansion.
Sisters gathered for a weekend
Each carrying their own vessel of pain
Needing to be heard, able to shed the mask of needing to be strong for others
Tears, vulnerability, overlapping stories, the connection of hearts,
lessons learned and amazing strength.
Our spiritual hearts - our Qalub - are not constrained by time and space.
Feeling thankful for such a beautiful opportunity, until we meet again!
Constriction and expansion.