The First Law of Thermodynamics states that within a system, energy cannot be created or destroyed. Instead, energy is transferred from one form or substance to another.  

The first day I decided I wanted to permanently wear the hijab was November 15th, 2011. I remember this day very clearly, since it was the day I turned 9 years old, meaning that I was finally of age. Although I was very young at the time, I understood that everything in the universe exists within a balance, a homeostasis. One where energy is transferred from one substance to another. Therefore, it was especially clear on that school day, November 15th, 2011, that even negative energy could be transferred. The piercing stares, the snarky remarks, the wicked laughter. They chipped away at my molecule of a heart in an acidic, merciless system that had no intentions of protecting it. And although I loved my hijab and what it represented, it made me endothermic, energy-attracting. Ultimately, it made me a target.  

The second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of any system always increases. 

Entropy is chaos and chaos only ever increases. A small disturbance in a system can ripple into larger consequences, just like how teasing and stares can crescendo into physical incidents. It was my seventh-grade math class when the first incident happened. What started as pure curiosity over what my hair looked like eventually escalated to an all-out tug-of-war game between me and the girl next to me. As I held on to my hijab for dear life, I watched as the rest of the room turned a blind eye to my apparent discomfort. They knew. They knew that the entropy of the universe only ever increases.
The second incident occurred during P.E. my freshman year of high school. This time I was prepared. I was familiar with the flow of chaos, the increase in entropy. I grabbed on tight, stepped back, and ran to the safety of my friend group. Yet again, everyone was silent. It seemed as though everyone knew but me, that the entropy of the universe only ever increases.

 I should have known better.    

The third law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of a system is zero as it approaches absolute zero. 

It’s a funny feeling, the feeling of nothingness, especially after so many years of chaos, of entropy. It’s strange really, the lack of reaction, the lack of movement. As I approached my absolute zero, the chaos froze. I guess that is what happens when molecules escape from their systems into the surroundings. They realize that there is so much more to this universe than that microscopic system and it’s chaotic rule. They realize that they have so many more uses and functions than what their system allowed. And they realize more than anything that there is a place for them in this world. It took me until college to realize that I have a place waiting for me. That I have a purpose in this life. That I can achieve so much more than what I was told I could achieve. As difficult as it was to get here, I’m glad that I made this journey and I’m glad that I chose to wear the hijab on that day: November 15th, 2011. After all, it made me recognize my own strength.