Shimul Chowdhury
Shimul Chowdhury is a Muslim Bangladeshi-American artist residing in South Florida. She is a professor of Digital Arts and Creative Technologies at Florida SouthWestern State College as well as art director at Mipsterz, a Muslim arts and culture collective striving to define the idea of Muslim Futurism. Her recent work aims to record and share the lived experiences of Muslims in the U.S. through textile craft, dialogue, and participation. Outside of her art practice, she is also passionate about teaching, playing video games, and knitting.
Noise
These days, your head is full of noise. The silence of months of forced solitude and distance is filled with a constant low screech, just loud enough that it cannot be ignored. It’s the sound of expectations and responsibility, of obligations and pressure. As if there aren’t other worries looming...as if you can simply choose to no longer be alone, especially now.
These undercurrents of doubt and insecurity have been slowly, steadily increasing in volume, only just now being voiced aloud; it is not easy to admit weakness or reveal vulnerability when you’ve been trained not to for so, so long. How do you reconcile with that weakness after having always forced strength? How can you suddenly open up to someone when you’ve always managed just fine on your own?
This noise seems impossible to deaden -- a constant reminder of your fear of disappointment, of being a disappointment. Perhaps one day, the pitch will shift. For now, you brace yourself against the wave.