TAWAKKAL

In the Holy Quran Allah Almighty clearly states that Tawakkul is not an option rather a requirement. Allah says in Quran: “…And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed” (Quran, 5: 23). When we talk about Tawakkul we say that we depend on Allah for everything and place reliance on Him.

I was having trouble writing a story about my life because everything that I am is because of my hero, and it is not easy to put your hero into words. For me, that person is my mother, Hashmat Banu.

 My mother never went to college, but she raised five children and taught them and many others how to stay strong regardless of circumstances.  She used to teach people how to read and write Urdu, how to read the Quran; she taught them how to cook, to sew, to make a monthly budget, and how to reuse leftover food. She was not a rich woman, but she was always generous and giving to others. She used to cook for people, make clothes for people, and always made thoughtful and heartfelt gifts.

Whenever my siblings and I were anxious about how things in our life will play out, she always said, “Allah Malik Hai,” meaning “God will take care of everything.” I inherited my strong faith from my Ammi (Banu) and every day I move forward with the principles she engraved in my heart.

Every time I pick up a survivor of domestic violence to take her to safety, I am reminded of my mother as she said “Live for others.” Everytime I cook for my community, I am reminded of my mother as she said, “sharing increases blessing,”

I am able to share this motherly energy with the people I serve because they need it in their most vulnerable state. I am able to teach them about Tawakkul.

Allah says in the Quran: “…And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed” (Quran, 5: 23). When we talk about Tawakkul we say that we depend on Allah for everything and place reliance on Him. We trust on Allah on all things no matter its worldly affairs or related to Deen.

My mother gave me the ability to maintain a strong sense of optimism. As a family, we went through a lot, but through her faith and strong sense of family, she held us all together.

I am dedicating this piece of writing to all the strong women in my life: my mom, my sisters, my aunts, my nieces, sister-in-laws, and my daughters. In their own lives, they are all warriors and have their own struggles, yet they continue to show up for others. They were rocks.

Growing up in South Asia, I was surrounded by strong women figures, yet they did not have an equal social status to men. I’ve always had a problem with accepting this aspect of my culture; that even though a woman is educated, strong, and hard working, why is she the last one to eat at the end of the day? Why does she have to take all the stress of running a household all by herself, just because she isn’t the breadwinner? I have always felt uneasy about these cultural practices, but to my mother and aunts, it was the norm.

I know I can’t change much in the grand scheme of things, but now I am glad to see that this standard is becoming less normalized and women are vocalizing their rights and opinions. 

Even in today’s culture, if your child is excelling in school, the credit goes to the father, but if the child starts failing, then the blame falls on the mother.  My mother and aunts were able to persevere because they had an innate sense of responsibility—whether they were given credit or not, they recognized that they ultimately made the family unit, and if they were to give up, the family unit would collapse.  The strength of these women is unmatched.  Looking back on it, I have found the unequal treatment and microaggressions against women unfair, despite being so normalized during my childhood.

My religion, Islam, also firmly establishes that men and women are equal, which is in stark contrast to the Desi culture I grew up in, in a Muslim country at that.

All of these women have a strong belief that things will get better, and this is arguably the one perspective that has allowed me to live each day. Growing up in that culture women being expected to serve their male counterparts, I get angry at typical South Asian culture. It makes me wonder why women aren’t perceived as enough or equal when they are the foundations of familial structures. They are never enough as themselves; whether they are mothers, daughters, wives, or sisters.

What I learned from my mother is that everything and anything is possible.  Any circumstance can be overcome.  My mother gave me the gift of realizing and practicing Tawakkul. I achieved many seemingly improbable things during my life because of my reliance on Allah, and because of my mother’s duas. She taught me how to fly; she gave me wings although she did not have any.

Allah says in Quran in words: “…And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed” (Quran, 5: 23). When we talk about Tawakkul we say that we depend on Allah for everything and place reliance on Him. We trust on Allah on all things no matter its worldly affairs or related to Deen.

I want to say my mother was enough, in every aspect of her life.

Ammi, you were enough.

 What I learned from my mother is that everything and anything is possible.  Any circumstance can be overcome.  My mother gave me the gift of realizing and practicing Tawakkul. I achieved many seemingly improbable things during my life because of my reliance on Allah, and because of my mother’s duas. She taught me how to fly; she gave me wings although she did not have any. 

****END***